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yanmaneee

Mi piace!!! Brava!!! :)

Non è del tutto male ... anche se forse dovresti usare una formattazione stile diario ovvero mettendo in alto a destra una data vera o immaginaria.

Per i discorsi diretti ti consiglierei più le virgolette se non ricordo male le liniette servono maggiormente per inserire un pensiero in mezzo alla frase.

Poi il monoblocco da leggere a schermo è davvero faticoso. consiglio sempre di utilizzare come carattere il time new roman a 12pt.

Se fai questi accorgimenti penso che la storia risulterà più bella e gradevole da leggere.

Se comunque decidi di fare un diario a mio giudizio ti consiglio di evitare di metterci dei discorsi diretti in mezzo. Non che non vadano bene, ma pensa a quando tu scrivi su un diario o blog. Hai mai utilizzato un discorso diretto come se fosse un dialogo in terza persona?

Senza contare che per creare dialoghi con il giusto ritmo occorre una pratica non indifferente di vari stili di scrittura.

Scusa forse ho esagerato, ma spero che queste mie osservazioni possano aiutarti a migliorare.

con affetto

Tyara Riddle